Tenant gets asked by the landlord's wife to start paying a security deposit a year after moving in, he doesn't think it's legal: 'I simply do not have the money for it'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Nov 11, 2026 1:45 PM EST

When do a landlord's rights to whatever they want end, and the tenant's rights start?

If you are a tenant, then you probably have thought at some point that something that the landlord was doing felt like it was wrong. It seems that they can do whatever they want, which at some point is understandable, because, after all, it is their property. But as a tenant, you have rights. The problem is that most people don't know their rights, and for tenants, they are not the same everywhere. Depending on where you live, you get more or fewer perks. And even though it is a big defining factor when deciding to move into a town, what's most important of all is to know the rights that you do have. Even if you have almost no perks as a tenant due to where you live, you still need to be aware of the ones that you do have. This is of utter importance to avoid having a landlord take advantage of you and your money. 

A security deposit sometimes may seem like a scam, but it shouldn't be. That money is what you pay at the beginning of the contract, before even moving to the place. This money works as a placeholder for the landlord in case you break or damage the property. When you return the keys at the end of the contract, the landlord checks the state of the place. If you damage something and did not repair it, then they can subtract the money for the repairs from the security deposit that you paid before. But if nothing is damaged when you end the contract, then that money should come right back to you; it was a placeholder for a promise that you did keep, and the place looks great. The problem is that sometimes landlords or real estate agencies make an incorrect use of the security deposit by looking and alleging that things are damaged even when they aren't. That is not correct, and you shouldn't fall for that or stay silent. You need to know your rights to be able to have a case against them so that you can get back the money that belongs to you. But remember, the place has to look exactly how it looked before you got the keys. If you are able to prove that, then do! You have the right to receive your money back, but you need to know your rights to know these things. 

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  • 01
    A sign that says “for rent” at a house.
    via chris robert

    A sign that says "for rent" at a house. 

  • 02
    For context my landlords are my exs parents (oof ik) and they own two houses, a year ago when I was still in the relationship and needed to find a place to stay I moved in to the basement of one of the properties they own and they told me I wouldn't have to pay a security deposit at all just first months rent, the wife had always disrespected me from the beginning because of my race and for other reasons down the line and was a big reason why I
    via Edgew1n
  • 03
    left the relationship but they were fine with me living there because it's strictly business when I offered to leave if it would cause problems. It's been more than a year now since I moved in Today the wife calls me up with slight attitude about the bathroom cabinet that doesn't close properly and claims I haven't taken care of it but the cabinet is very old, rusted and falling apart because of it and
    via Edgew1n
  • 04
    had not been able to close fully since I moved in. She briefly mentions that I should take care of things because they never requested a deposit and I just heard her out without saying much because I feel like every conversation I have with her is unpleasant and goes by easier if I just let her yap and hang up after. She was supposed to pick up the rent but never showed up on time so I went to work and calls me up saying how tomorrow her
    via Edgew1n
  • 05
    husband will pick it up and then said that while she has me on the phone she wanted to tell me that now they want a security deposit more than A YEAR LATER. I had just been temporarily excluded without pay over a HR incident that they found me innocent and sued the company, had barely been able to get on my feet working straight DoorDash, on top of that I payed back a lot of money that I owed their daughter recently so I told her NO because
    via Edgew1n
  • 06
    I simply do not have the money for it and that one month took a heavy toll on me and I need to get back on my feet but most importantly they are asking for a security deposit more than a year later when they didn't require it. I will be talking with the landlord tomorrow because him and I had a good relationship in the past despite her treating me bad but I really don't think I am in the wrong for this even after putting my resentment aside so AITAH?
    via Edgew1n
  • 07
    A little house with a key for the real house.
    via Tierra Mallorca

    A little house with a key for the real house. 

  • 08
    SRT10 You're only bound by what's in the lease, legally. No lease, no agreement....they lose! Although, they can then ask you to vacate. That's the legalities of your situation. You might want to not throw this in their faces, to keep them from throwing you out, however.
    via SRT10
  • 09
    Monday0987 It's time to fly the nest mate, cut the apron strings.
    via Monday0987
  • 10
    Immediate Pea3760 NTA but also why would you want to stay in this situation? When you are back on your feet I would look to move out
    via Immediate Pea3760
  • 11
    FriendlyMum NTA but put your reply in writing so there's evidence of the conversation. 'Just confirming you requested this and I declined because it's not part of the agreement and I've been a tenant x months without it.' why on earth are you doing cash rent. Insist on transferring it into their account so you don't have to see them PLUS it creates documentation for you being a tenant a paying on
    via FriendlyMum
  • 12
    time etc for the next place. Ps when you move out expect a LOT of issues from them making claims. They're already laying the groundwork for it either the security deposit claim. Be smart and document everything as it if is going to court and you'll save yourself a lot of stress later. Photograph everything, document everything. Stop calling them and Text. or email so there's a documented paper trail. When you move out do a photo frenzy or slow video on every
    via FriendlyMum
  • 13
    wall and every little thing so they can claim damage later.
    via FriendlyMum
  • 14
    JboogieFL NTA. That broken cabinet is just her excuse to squeeze money out of you. You have already lived there for over a year under a lease agreement without a deposit. They cannot just demand a security deposit now.
    via JboogieFL
  • 15
    foldinthecheese99 This is messy. You look for a new place. She will just get worse.
    via foldinthecheese99
  • 16
    calacmack It's apparent that you may have worn out your welcome, so moving asap should be your priority. It was a mistake to rent the place without a formal lease, especially due to the nature of the relationship you have with them. Legally it's unlikely that they can demand a deposit now but without a lease they might be able to force you to move within thirty days. Do you really think that they would
    via calacmack
  • 17
    make you move if you didn't pay them? If so perhaps you could negotiate and pay them a small fee. Regardless you are NTA.
    via calacmack

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landlord tenant renting security deposit rights
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